God has always let me know that He loves me in so many ways. I know that I don't have to be perfect or like the next person to know He loves me. But I have always struggled with comparing myself with others around me. I would see someone who has an awesome walk with God and desire that my walk and faith would be like theirs. I can't count the number of people that I looked up to and was envious of their walk. But I look at them now and their walk is no longer one I would envy. I have been disappointed by so many people because of this. Most recently there's an older gentleman that has always had an amazing walk and I have always respected and admired. But there seems to have been a shift. I don't know if I'm just seeing things in a different light because I'm older with three kids now, or if he has changed.
I'm so tired of seeking what others have. I want my walk to be my walk with God. I desire to be the daughter he's called me to be. Having two daughters has changed how I see the father's love for His little girl. Just because one child has seemed to capture her daddy's heart more than the other daughter doesn't mean he loves the other daughter any less. He loves them the same and has been captivated by both daughters. I want my girls to have a relationship with their daddy that's unique to who they are.
Lord, thank you for loving me for who you made me. Help me to see how I can have the walk I am meant to have, not the one that I want to emulate. Direct each and everyone of my steps Lord. Thank you for loving me with a father's love and not just ruling over me. May my desires be pleasing to you and help my ways be a reflection of your love,
This is my hearts cry oh Lord.
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