To clarify

Wow, my last post was a real downer.  I didn't mean for it to be.  I am doing well in most areas of my life.  I just feel like I am being tweaked as a mom.  I use to not care how much tv my kids watched and honestly, it babysat my kids so I could get things done.  I realized that I need to turn it off.  I'm allowing my kids an hour of tv at home a day.  That means that they're underfoot most of the day.  I get to spend more time with them, I just wish it was quality time and not me yelling at them.  I want a fenced in backyard...the house we want has one....it will be so nice Lord....your will not ours!!

Wow....2 months went fast.

My last blog was two months ago exactly.  A lot is going on right now.  We're getting ready to put our house on the market and buy a new one.  I'm not really sure how we got here.  Matthew and I have been talking about it since Michelle was born.  We found the house we want to buy pretty fast.  It was the 5th house we looked at.  And we went to apply for a loan, still awaiting preapproval, and they said we could get a loan with an interest rate of 3.875%. That's crazy low!!  We haven't put an offer on the house, because we are waiting to be preapproved.  And we're getting things fixed up here before we put it on the market....anyone want to buy our house?  I'm believing God has everything under control.  If I think and dwell on it too much, I get overwhelmed because it's A LOT!  But  He is guiding us one step at a time.  And if this isn't the house, we're both okay with that.  It's the first time I haven't let my emotions control my decisions.  I feel strange about all of it, a good kind of strange.  I've never really been in a place like this.  I have my full trust in God and therefore, I'm not stressed or overly concerned about any part of it.  He is a good Father and He has good this in store for me.

The family is doing good.  Michelle is one now.  She is such a ray of sunshine.  The only time I;ve had trouble with her is when I nurse her.  She does gymnastics while still latched.  It is very uncomfortable and annoying.  She also thinks I'm an open bar, that I should just leave'em out and she'll take sips in the middle of playing....no joke.  She pitches a fit whenever I out'em away.  She grabs at me and yanks my shirt.....it's annoying, but kinda cute.  Okay not cute....just annoying. 

Alyssa and I need prayer.  We just don't click.  I don't get it at all.  I need to pray more for our relationship, I just forget to.  Lord, help us to  uderstand each other.  Open my eyes to her needs and desires.  Lord, I want to connect with Alyssa, help me. Amen.

Johnathan is becoming more and more defiant.  I am at a loss with how to  entertain him.  Lord, help me to find Johnathan's interests. 

I stay frustrated with Alyssa and Johnathan.  I feel like I tell them no all the time.  I've been struggling with not being the mom I've always wanted to be.  Anyway, I need to go to bed....night night