failing

That feeling of failing...over and over and over.  Like you just can't seem to get it right. It being life, relationship with God, relationships around me, my weight...I just feel like I am failing something awful.

I weigh more than I ever have. I am frustrated with myself over stuff in the bedroom.  I can't seem to keep the house clean or the laundry done.  I feel like I am in this waiting pattern that won't end.  I need something to change.  I have no clue what.  I have been praying and praying and praying. I don't doubt God has heard me and cares about the things that weigh me down.  But why can't I change? I want it and desire it so badly.  But daily I fail.

Lord, I need you desperately.  I want to take my eyes off of me and onto you and only you.