wow....that ended up being long!

I haven't been a very good blogger lately.  I just feel so busy and the last thing I want to do is fill my time with typing and trying to express myself.  I also have been going through a pretty hard stage right now.  I don't want anyone to think I hate my kids or that I am always down/depressed.  I am starting to have more good days than bad.  I am beginning to come to terms that I am not the mom I always dreamed I was, but with God's help I can get there and be the mom He wants me to be. 

I am a part of a home group. My husband and I aren't apart of a church, but we're apart of a family of believers that love Jesus and want to serve Him in all we do.  We have nothing against church.  I miss some things about church, like praise and worship.  But I am slowly learning how to do that at home. I also think my kids are missing out on being taught more about Jesus.  But I am slowly learning how to do that at home.  It is so rewarding to hear your child is well-behaved and knows how to act in a bad situation away from home.  I my see a different child in my house, but God is rewarding my attempts to teach my children who He is. 

Anyway, all of that to get to this point (it's not what I sat down to write.)  This past Sunday night,  we were talking about many things, but it led to talking about how there are people that seem to have that connection with God, Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and many others.  But what makes them seem to be chosen and set apart.  Someone mentioned they believe that they are truly God's beloved.  That they are loved by God so deeply that no matter what they're going through, they believe that they are God's beloved.  I remember when I was in high school, I was reading in Acts and was awed by the fact that His disciples were thankful for being persecuted.  Through their hard times, that knew that they were God's beloved.  I want to get to that place, where I know, really really know that I am God's beloved.  Out of all the people in the world, He has called me and I am His beloved.  We are all set apart, we are all God's favorite child.  I have three children, I love each one equally, and they are all my favorite.  Me, a human, who sins, can love my children  that way.  How much more and perfectly can God love each one of us that way!!  Every day, I am telling myself "I am my Beloved and He is mine, His banner over me is love..." in every situation, I sing it.  Soon, I will truly, with my whole heart, mind, and soul believe that I will always, no matter what, be my Lord's beloved!!!