fruit

SO much is going on in my head today...

I love when God gives you just a simple truth and it can change your life! I was praying for my son because he gets really upset whenever he doesn't get his way.  I want him to be happy and joyful.  I was asking God what he needs to feel joyful.  And BAM! "²² But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,²³ gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!" Galations 5:22-23 As I was praying that my son would have the Holy Spirit be prevalent in his life. I felt like God was saying to me "which of these fruits do you see in your life?" Oh wowza! love...yes I love my children and my husband and my close friends and some family...but love? hmm....joy..nope, i just feel like i am in a constant state of tense...peace...most of the time but what if something major happened? patience, kindness, goodness, and gentleness?? just ask my children about those! They would probably tell you I am mean mommy!  Faithfulness? i am faithful when it counts but in the small things..kinda...self-control....ummmmm ask those 10 fun size butterfingers i just ate... So, needless to say I think I am missing something in my life. What little fruit I do have is small and kinda withered looking.  I want my fruit to be the talk of the town...the one that the people come far and wide to see.  But how do I do that?  How?  What am I feeding myself?  Is my fruit affected my weeds? Are the weeds blocking the supply to my fruit? Taking away the nutrients the fruit needs?? Lord, HELP ME!  I can't do this on my own.  I need you!  I need you and only you!  I want to crave you and only you!!! I don't want to be mediocre anymore! I want fruit that is healthy!

Anyway the rest can wait.  that is the biggest thing God is working on me!