Oh change....

Do you know that feeling you get when God is about to make a big request from you?  Where you start getting little clues that will better prepare you for something big? It is happening to me.  I love my family.  I love my siblings but my sister and I are very different.  Lately, probably because I am preggo, I am realizing that being around her alot isn't very good for me and having her kids around mine, isn't good for my kids.  I was watching Joyce Meyers this morning while working out. She was talking about how you need to stop hanging out with people that aren't good for you.  I don't pity my sister.  I never have.  What happened to her and our families was terrible.  But pity won't bring my neice back.  But Joyce said one little sentence that put that feeling that God was about to make me do soemthing. She said that people with no purpose think that people with purpose are too structured and rigid.  My sister and I parent very differently.  My goal as a parent is to raise my children up to be followers of Christ, respectful, loving, kind, and mature.  I am hard on my children. I expect a lot out of them.  I am not perfect.  I am not always successful.  I am not consistant. My children are handfuls.  I spank them, I raise my voice sternly at them (some may call it yelling, but there is a difference when I yell when I am mad or when I am getting a point across).  There are times I fail so badly I think I have done irrepairable damage.  But I tell my children that a lot.  I apologize to them a lot.  I love my children a lot.  I pray for wisdom a lot.  My sister doesn't understand me.  At one point she made fun of me while I was in the process of discplining my children.  I was livid, but I didn't stand up for myself because I never have, ever with her.  She has no idea who I really am.  I become a timid mouse whenver she is around.  I have no idea what God is going to ask me to do regarding our relationship.  But something is going to change, I just know it.