hmmm

I was at our group Sunday night and we were just worshipping God.  I have lost my voice so I just sat and drank in the worship.  God revealed something to me.  I have become extremely selfish.  It has gotten worse with this pregnancy and all of the junk going along with it.  I do get tired easily and There are many times I just need to sit and put my feet up.  But My alone time is very selfish.  I felt God I need to be selflessly alone.  As in instead of being a bum and watching tv and reading books.  Spend my time with Him in prayer for my family and friends and take on a warrior attitude for the things that belong to Him.  It is amazing how becoming self-absorbed can change you. 

Then later in the group we were all talking and someone mentioned that they don't hear or feel God.  And someone replied that they use to feel that way until they started proclaiming everyday "God I know you are there, whether I feel you and hear you I know by faith you are here with me."  I realized I need to proclaim, "God I know you are here with me, you gave me these children for a reason.  I am the best mom for them.  I know you are here and by faith I believe you will always guide me in raising them. I am not perfect and I may not feel you daily, that doesn't mean you have left me."

*On another note, our lot has been cleared!!  The builder should start the foundation next week!  Matthew and I are trying to make as many decisions about the house now so that as I get father along in my pregnancy we won't have to worry about it.  We have bought our appliances!  As an adult it is one of those purchases that is really exciting.  We weren't going to buy them yet but there was a really really good deal for Presidents Day. Now were are trying to figure out kids bedrooms and colors and which child will be where.  Not knowing what we are having is making that just a tad harder but we aren't worried about it.