Yay!! I'm down three pounds this week! For a total of 25 pounds. I have four more weigh-ins left! I'll be glad when this is over but I can honestly say I've enjoyed seeing the pounds melt away! My goal is to be in the top three women overall! I know I have a chance! I didn't think I would do this good and I'm amazed at myself for being able to do it.
Onto other things. Last Saturday I felt really out of it. I was feeling like a complete failure in all areas of my life. So I decided to work on one of the bigger ones. I went to the Christian bookstore and got two books. One was "Queen Mom" by Brenda Garrison and "Am I messing up my Kids?" by Lysa TerKeurst. My initial thought was they're just moms like me, what makes them experts. I prayed and asked God to show me areas of improvement. It has helped and it's always nice to get advice from other Christian moms. In the first book today I was reading about not ruking with an iron fist. I tend to be angry at my kids. In Brenda's book she quoted Dr. Gary Smalley "Anger is a secondary emotion, not a primary feeling. It arises out of fear, frustration, hurt, or some combination of the three." Wow! It made me realize that I do stay frustrated. Why? My house is always cluttered, my kids don't listen the first time, my husband works more hours and misses out on seeing the kids grow daily. I'm hurt. Why? Right now it's because I continually pray God to heal my children, but they're always sick. Right now Alyssa has a nasty cough. I truly believe God will heal her, but he hasn't yet and it hurts to know he didn't answer the way I think he should. There are many more things I can put on here but I'll spare you. So when I get angry with my kids, I know I need to ask God to reveal the reason behind my anger, right then and there. I don't need to let it go on. Especially when dealing with my kids and disciplining them. I desire to be a calm mom. I do not like this mom that I have become. People often call me super mom. I cringe at that because I know what I've been inside my home when no one else has been around. I'm embarrassed by how I can treat my kids. I survive every day and to other that's what makes a "super mom". I don't want to merely survive. I want to thrive and if I'm doing that, call me "super mom"!!
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Remember that you are good mom because you see the need for change and you're doing something about it! As a person I'm constantly trying to improve and that means different areas...what I eat, being a wife, better house wife, spiritual walk, mom...etc. It just depends on what God is dealing with me at the time. I think it's great to always strive to thrive! Everyone one of us has things we do or say that we aren't proud of. I never thought I would yell at my kids because my father always yelled, but I've done it a couple of times and I always get on my knees and apologize. And I don't believe a parent should have to raise their voices to achieve results if their children are disciplined because then they learn not to obey until you raise your voice.
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that you're honest! And I hope that you're able to improve in the areas you want to!